MONTH OF MAY = MONTH OF MAMA
A Conversation Between 2 Mom Friends, as told by Nickie and Amber.
“Mothers and their children are in a category all their own. There’s no bond so strong in the entire world. No love so instantaneous or forgiving.”
Nickie: Being a mom was definitely not something that was on the top of my priority list. I don’t think anyone ever would have said, “Oh, she’s born to be a mom.” I never have been one to jump at holding a baby, or have the neighborhood kids flock to me. So when I became pregnant 12 years ago (holy smokes) I can honestly say, I’ve never been so terrified. My whole world was changing. I just felt so unprepared. 12 years later, and 3 kids in, I now know, becoming a mom saved me.
Amber: Same. I actually was the 20 something girl who went on record to say, “I’m NEVER having kids. Like EVER.” Getting pregnant 6 years ago, I was scared. And overwhelmed. Me? A mom? Some little baby would be relying on me to keep them alive. That sentence still makes me laugh now the mom of 3 kids!
A: Actually becoming a mom was extremely hard for me. So many changes were happening I could barely keep my head above water. I lost myself. I lost my independence. My body was destroyed. I couldn’t control my emotions. Basically I couldn’t get my shit together. It. Was. Rough. I felt like maybe I had made a mistake. Maybe I wasn’t supposed to be a mom. And I felt like I couldn’t say any of these things to anyone because being a mom is SUPPOSED to be so amazing and wonderful. And it’s such a blessing to create life. For me in the beginning, I wasn’t feeling any of those things.
Every mom, becomes a mom, for different reasons. Our journeys to becoming a mom, are completely different. But the moment we bring our babes into the world, we become part of the wonderful tribe called “MOTHERHOOD.”
A: My life changed completely when I found my tribe. I found a workout that included moms and babies. Everyone in the group had 2 of the exact same hobbies as me, we were moms and we liked to workout. BOOM. Most of the group hadn’t slept through the night, the night before. Someone’s baby was teething. Someone had a new trick to ease the pain. One mom need an idea for dinner that night, another mom has just nailed a new recipe and shared the link with the group. Some moms were runners. Some former college athletes. Some had never played a sport or worked out a day in their life, but now that we were ALL MOMS, we were instantly connected. These moms were talking about all the things I was afraid to say out loud as a new mom. All the things I thought were only happening to me because I sucked as a mom, were happening to other moms too. I wasn’t crazy. I WASN’T CRAZY. I was actually normal. It was a new normal. And once I accepted that, being a mom was fun. It was exciting. It became rewarding for me. As long as I didn’t get too far from my tribe.
N: I remember being excited to get to Stroller Strides to hear what the other moms googled the night before during that 2am feeding.
A: Or my favorite was hearing what moms did on their phones during nap time. Bathing suit sales, or the new winter bootie for your babe or what celeb has the best Instagram posts.
N: Becoming a mom and finding a tribe has given me back my spirit I had lost along the way. It’s made me proud and given me a sense of accomplishment. It’s given me joy, beyond words. It motivates me, to be a better person, both mentally & physically. It’s made me the person, that I always knew was inside me, but wasn’t quite sure how to find her.
A: Finding a mom tribe was the game changer for me. I learned how to be a better friend, a better mom, and a better, happier wife. It is by far THEE hardest thing I’ve ever done in life. Ups and downs and the good days with the bad days, motherhood is my greatest accomplishment. And helping other moms find their “mom tribes” is 100% why I was put on this earth.
N: Now don’t get me wrong, I fail on a daily basis, at being a “good mom”. But, unlike other things I have failed at, it does not stop me from getting back up, and doing it again. Doing it better.
A: Oh yes, #momfail should be my middle name! But now, for me, my mom fails make me feel less crazy and more normal. It’s just one more funny story I can tell during the workout or over a glass of wine during Mom’s Night Out. They’re kinda like my tiger stripes! Bahahahaha!!!!!
So instead of just celebrating moms on May 12th this year, let’s celebrate, the whole month of May!!!!
Tell a new mom she’s doing great. Or that it gets easier. Or share a crazy middle of the night story of yours. Hold the door for a stroller mama. Or help a mom with multiple children loaded her Target cart in the parking lot. Take the cart inside the store as you see a mom finishing up with it at the grocery store. High five the mom who is wearing real clothes in the middle of the day with kids in tow! High five a mom when she gets home from work. Shoot, high five a mom who still wearing a bra at dinner time because some days the motherhood is too real! Celebrate the motherhood. All the journeys, struggles and successes. All the time outs and nap times. Because we are ALL in this together. We are sisters because we are moms. Sisterhood in Motherhood.
“I believe most people are good and most mamas ought to qualify for sainthood.”